Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
