Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
