do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
