just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
