I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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