1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
