Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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