i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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