Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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