if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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