they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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