The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
