Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
