We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
