I'm eating all of the evidence.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.