I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants