good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
All I want is dick and wine.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
