My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
