Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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