I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
