Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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