OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
