I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
