so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
