Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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