I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
