I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
