I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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