Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
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Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize