Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
