You're so nebulous sometimes
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
