would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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