i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
