you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
