she kept yelling 'call me bella'
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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