Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god