Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.

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(619): I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there. http://tfl.nu/ar9u

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(858): View more from California

Life is so much better after having sex.

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(858): Life is so much better after having sex. http://tfl.nu/blju

Replies (39) Good night (11126) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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(951): View more from California

better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???

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(951): better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life??? http://tfl.nu/fjyx

Replies (14) Good night (5902) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

How did the beer even get there in the first place?

(734): View more from Michigan

That's not what's important right now

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(734): Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina? (1-734): How did the beer even get there in the first place? (734): That's not what's important right now http://tfl.nu/17l2

Replies (30) Good night (2888) Bad night (3735)
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(607): View more from New York

She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle

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(607): She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle http://tfl.nu/wl70

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(214): View more from Texas

So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far

(713): View more from Texas

Sounds better than last semester

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(214): So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far (713): Sounds better than last semester http://tfl.nu/9h5w

Replies (12) Good night (1469) Bad night (4454)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.

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(208): Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it. http://tfl.nu/9b8s

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off

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(401): yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off http://tfl.nu/phv1

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(770): View more from Georgia

Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.

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(770): Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer. http://tfl.nu/3cyq

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what? who is this?

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(201): Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER. (610): what? who is this? http://tfl.nu/1mp3

Replies (12) Good night (2458) Bad night (792)
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(425): View more from Washington

UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD

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(425): UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD http://tfl.nu/7k7x

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(904): View more from Florida

If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.

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(904): If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day. http://tfl.nu/6nok

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?

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(540): I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night? http://tfl.nu/328v

Replies (9) Good night (2412) Bad night (523)
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(315): View more from New York

What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?

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(315): What's a good pandora station to masturbate to? http://tfl.nu/c2un

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing

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(908): Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing http://tfl.nu/ciob

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