If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls