I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Drake has all the answers
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"