Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
