Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
