Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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