Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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