Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
