2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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