ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
