Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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