I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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