I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
