When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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