the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
