an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
