Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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