Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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