ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
